I have a fairly stifling fear of failure. I wish I wasn't this way and that I could just charge ahead! But this fear definitely impacts my function especially in my work.
I've been teaching childbirth education for 6 years and even though couples tell me all the time that they really enjoyed the class and learned a lot and are so thankful etc, etc., I still doubt myself terribly. I have couples ask me fairly frequently to attend births and I usually decline even though for the births I have attended I always receive the sweetest notes and thankfulness.
I stall on creating/promoting my website.
I shrink at the thought of Facebook self-promotion.
I don't market my business as I should. And in seeing what others do with their marketing it makes me do even less.
Why am I this way? Why do I fear? Why do I doubt so much?
Am I a perfectionist? When I look at the awesomeness of what other teachers are doing with their marketing I just shrink shrink shrink. I lack awesomeness, and I'm not sure if I'm capable of internet marketing awesomeness.
I sometimes feel that I need to be ok with being the "not favorite" teacher. You know those teachers you had in school who weren't the favorites, but they were nonetheless there every single day and did their jobs with competence? And lo' and behold you did learn something! If the "not favorite" teachers didn't show up only because they weren't the favorite then there would be a lot of empty classrooms.
Anyways, it's a struggle I've had for awhile.