Saturday, November 24, 2012

Fear of Failure

I have a fairly stifling fear of failure. I wish I wasn't this way and that I could just charge ahead! But this fear definitely impacts my function especially in my work.

I've been teaching childbirth education for 6 years and even though couples tell me all the time that they really enjoyed the class and learned a lot and are so thankful etc, etc., I still doubt myself terribly. I have couples ask me fairly frequently to attend births and I usually decline even though for the births I have attended I always receive the sweetest notes and thankfulness.

I stall on creating/promoting my website.
I shrink at the thought of Facebook self-promotion.
I don't market my business as I should. And in seeing what others do with their marketing it makes me do even less.

Why am I this way? Why do I fear? Why do I doubt so much?

Am I a perfectionist? When I look at the awesomeness of what other teachers are doing with their marketing I just shrink shrink shrink. I lack awesomeness, and I'm not sure if I'm capable of internet marketing awesomeness.

I sometimes feel that I need to be ok with being the "not favorite" teacher. You know those teachers you had in school who weren't the favorites, but they were nonetheless there every single day and did their jobs with competence? And lo' and behold you did learn something! If the "not favorite" teachers didn't show up only because they weren't the favorite then there would be a lot of empty classrooms.

Anyways, it's a struggle I've had for awhile.


  1. I can relate to this and I don't know what to suggest! I don't own a business, so it's maybe a little easier to get by for me but I still feel like I need to work on valuing myself. I'm doing better, but I still feel really shy about things!

  2. Well thank you just for relating :) What helps me in most situations is lowering my expectations. That way the only place to go is up! But I can sometimes have a very high standard in my head. This is why I didn't homeschool. My image of how I believe I should be as a homeschool teacher is something I could never really live up to. But I can live up to my personal standard of what a "mom of public schooled children" should be. Strange. If there is one thing I know for sure it's that I don't have all the answers!

  3. I found your Year in Skirts blog a while back via Like Mother Like Daughter. I've never commented before but I want you to know that I find your blogs to be very inspiring! In using this format, you are teaching people every day and there are topics you've covered (inappropriate clothes for girls, art projects for kids, dressing in a more feminine way, etc.) that I really identify with. I feel as you do on so many topics and your blog is a strong, positive voice for women. I don't know you personally but you seem like a wonderful mother, and a trustworthy, caring, strong and smart person which I'm sure carries over into your work. Even though you may not feel like everyone's favorite teacher all of the time, I would bet you are a clear favorite. In terms of marketing yourself, comparison is the thief of joy (and creativity I've found!) You are great at what you do so focus on your achievements rather than the perception of what others are doing. You won't always be everyone's favorite teacher all of the time but that's okay. You are doing a great job anyway! All of this to say that I admire the work you do with your blog and I don't want you to feel like you don't measure up with your teaching.


    1. Big ol hug to you Valerie. Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means A LOT to me!! I will be reading your comment several times especially when I need some bolstering!

  4. A great book to read on this is Brene Brown's, "The gift of Imperfection". Awesome Book!!